I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
wow bdsm is so cute
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