Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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