She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
