He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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