What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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