yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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