When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
