I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
40s are totally the cure
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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