sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There r osticjed everywhere
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
