garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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