If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
