I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
