She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
