it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
