Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
