I must be too annoying 4 u.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
