to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
try to milk me bitch
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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