Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
