Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
