Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
