I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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