I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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