I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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