I looked at my own cervix.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What a dumb baby whore.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
