but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Randomize
