a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
