i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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