Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
