I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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