I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
