Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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