you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
