Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
