she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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