So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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