I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
