Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
