You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
