i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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