i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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