Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
