How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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