now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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