god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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