oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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