didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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