so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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