oh god the rape fog is back!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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