After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
