Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
